In the News…

September 1st, 2010

I’m following this story about James Lee holding hostages at the Discovery channel.  I also went and read his manifesto.  I have to say, he brings up some valid points for a domestic terrorist.  TLC does indeed promote/glamorize  excessive childbirth with their “reality” shows about couples having litters upon litters of children.  They assure us that these kids are being fed and given the love and attention they deserve, and I’m not going to argue with that because I don’t have any facts to present.

While I don’t agree that we should start mass sterilizations of our population, I can’t help but feel like that would really be the only way to control some people.  The point, however, is that couples should not have more than two children.  We should just have enough to replace ourselves, and maintain the current population.  (In reality, we would be lowering the population slowly, due to accidental deaths.)  Using words like “parasites” and “plague” might be a strong way of putting it, but Lee is correct in those thoughts.  Far more of us destroy this planet than help it.

In closing, though, I’m going to say that strapping a bomb to yourself (even if it turns out that it’s a fake bomb) and demanding that a network change its programming lineup is the absolute wrong way to go about this.  You’re coming across as a crazy person, and won’t be taken seriously.  More importantly, you’re endangering lives.  While humanity may be destroying this planet, humanity is also a part of nature and has just as much a right to exist as the forests.  I hope no one gets hurt in this.

Posted in Rants | No Comments »

Growing Up, and Death

August 27th, 2010

I’ve been thinking about Death a lot lately.  By “a lot” I mean more than usual, which means more than not thinking about it at all.  I’ve always been lackadaisical when it comes to worrying about death.  My thought is that, once I’m dead, I won’t have anything to worry about.  Right?  Anyway…

Around three years ago, I attended a funeral for a gaming friend of mine.  It was the first time I went to a funeral for someone who wasn’t family, and it was a little bit surreal.  Last month my neighbor, who had been fighting cancer for over a year, passed away.  The funeral was on a day that I had to travel, but I managed to make it to the viewing by myself.  And last Sunday, a friend of mine was murdered in his own home.  He wasn’t a close friend, but it would be an insult to say he was just an acquaintance.  His funeral is this afternoon.  Work has been busy this week, and I’m not sure I’ll be able to get out in time for it, but I want to go.  I think it’s odd that I would want to go to a funeral, when I hate them…

The point of this post, though, isn’t about going to funerals.  It’s about growing up, and accepting death.

Two weeks ago, I woke up in the middle of the night with a dull, squeezing pain in my chest.  I’ve had bad heartburn before, and the first time ever I thought I was dying.  This didn’t feel like that.  I’ve also had a reaction to an antibiotic that caused intermittent chest pains as a more serious side effect.  A side effect that could cause a heart attack.  It felt more like that.  Rather than wake Strutter up to call 911, I decided I’d wait until the morning to see.  I did, however, take my pulse and temperature, both of which were normal.

In the morning, the pains kept coming.  Once every three to five minutes, it felt like my chest was squeezing it on itself, like muscle flexing as hard as it could…  and there’s only one muscle that I know about in the middle of my chest.  So I called 911, right?  No.  I took a shower, got dressed, and went to work.

About three hours into my workday, I started to get a little bit light-headed, and then started feeling short of breath during the occurrences.  Lightheadedness and shortness of breath, combined with chest pains, are a definite sign of a heart attack, so I did what any sane person would do.  I drove myself to an urgent care facility, signed in, and waited a little over an hour to see a nurse practitioner.  Everything checked out fine, and it turned out to be heartburn.  It’s a little embarrassing to say that, but probably not as embarrassing as it would be if it was a real heart attack and I didn’t go get checked out at all.

Spending eighty-nine minutes in a waiting room full of people with colds while you’re experiencing what could possibly be a life-ending event gives one a lot of time to reflect on life, and that’s exactly what I did.  And here’s a brief breakdown of what I thought about:

I decided that my life has actually been a pretty good one, and I would have very few regrets.  My first, and biggest, regret is that I’m not a great son.  I’d venture to say that I’m actually a pretty crappy one.  I don’t buy my parents presents for Christmas, birthdays, or Mother’s/Father’s Day.  I don’t visit or call as often as my mother would like me to.  I tend to call only when I need medical advice, homeowner advice, or money.  The other regrets are petty, really, and small enough for me to accept with a shrug if I’m dying.

I also thought about the aftermath if I happened to die.  I don’t have a will, so no one would really have proof of anything I wanted.  I hope that my life insurance would be more than enough to cover the expenses of death.  (Apparently, it costs a lot to die.  How is that even possible?)  I also hope that the extra money would be enough to make house payments long enough for Strutter to find a new place, and hope that my parents, who are listed as my beneficiaries, would help her out with that.  (I don’t have mortgage insurance.  In my opinion, all insurance is a scam.  In most cases, you pay far more than you get back.)

I also thought about what I’d want for a memorial service, and decided that I don’t want one.  To me, this has always been an odd practice.  To want a memorial service, in my eyes, is vanity.  I don’t want to be remembered.  I want to be forgotten.  I do understand that some people need to see the body, need to have that service, for closure.  So the service is more for them than for the deceased.  (Because, really, what does the deceased care at that point?  No matter what you believe happens after this life, I think everyone can agree that a dead person probably doesn’t have much reason to keep tabs on the living world.)

So, since people will probably need some sort of service,  I decided that I want to be cremated.  (A cemetery is a waste of land.)  I don’t care what happens to my ashes, as long as no one pays a lot for an urn, and no one pays to put that urn in the ground.  You can throw them out the car window on the ride home, honestly.  I want my service to be held on a Friday afternoon, so that my friends and family will have a reason to leave work early and get a headstart on the weekend.  (You’re welcome.)  I don’t want people walking around murmuring to one another between somber hugs.  In fact, no sad people allowed.  Play some upbeat music.  Put out some balloons if you have to.  And once the service is done, get on with your life and enjoy your weekends.  From wherever I am, I won’t be watching.  I’ll be on some great new adventure.

Posted in Miscellany | 1 Comment »

My Phone Won’t Stop Beeping…

April 1st, 2010

So I posted this one little status update to Facebook a couple of days ago, and ever since then my phone won’t stop beeping.  It beeps when someone posts a comment, “likes” the update, when someone emails, when someone texts me, and when someone calls me.  In the interest of integrity, I guess I can’t really call is a beep.  It’s a recording of me saying “Beep” in a a very monotone voice.

So, anyway, I changed my relationship status from “In a Relationship” to “Engaged” and then posted a status update of “is engaged.  Go me.”  Most of the replies have been a simple congratulations, with the obligatory gay joke (“What’s his name?”) thrown in from Sculley.  But there have been more than a few messages wanting the juicy details of how I did it.  Because, let’s face it, I’m one romantic son of a bitch.  (Sorry, Mom.  Love you.)  While this tale might disappoint in the romance department, maybe it will stop the beeping.

Strutter and I had been talking about marriage for awhile.  So, like a month ago, I finally kidnapped her on a Saturday and drove her to a jewelry store to look at rings.  First, let me say that I’m not a fan of the whole commercialism that drives the wedding process.  Buying a $3,000 ring (Something like 2250 Euros, Len) to make a promise that you’re willing to be in debt for the rest of your life with someone else just seems counter-intuitive to me.  Then dropping $50,000 on a wedding and reception…  well, you get the point.  Anyway, I’ve wandered off-story.

So she tries on a few rings.  We both agreed that the solitaire style was the most appropriate, since we hate all the crushed diamond nonsense and the little sidecar gems.  Then we start looking at wedding bands, for (I assumed) me.  I don’t wear jewelery.  I didn’t really care, as long as it wasn’t flashy.  And then, we get in the truck to drive off and run some errands.

On the drive, Strutter informs me that she doesn’t like any of the rings, because they’re too dainty and they make her hand look weird.  I don’t really say anything, because I assume this is some girl mind-trick.  She then says that she would rather have one of the men’s bands.  Again, I keep relatively quiet.  I may have given a grunt.  Then she adds that she liked the Tungsten Carbide rings better than the precious metal ones, and that she wanted to just get one of those as her engagement and wedding rings.

So, let me summarize what that conversation meant.  She didn’t want a $3,000 ring and then another $500 ring afterward.  She just wanted a single $250 ring to serve as both.  So, of course, I’m expecting a catch, but I just shrug and say as little as possible.

Later, we’re talking about the actual wedding.  She doesn’t want some big service.  In fact, she wants to go to the courthouse and just do it simple.  After all, it seems like a waste of money to have all the bells and whistles.  I’m still relatively quiet, but it’s probably more from shock than from fear of a girl-trick.

So later still, when I’m alone, I try to recap what happened.  She doesn’t want an engagement ring.  She doesn’t want a wedding.  She’s basically saving me the cost of a small house with these decisions.  So I should be ecstatic, right?  Wait!  If she doesn’t want an engagement ring, how am I supposed to get down on one knee and “pop the question” all romantic-like?

Meanwhile, she’s talking to her family about her decisions on the ring, and her great-aunt decides to buy her a ring (not anything expensive, mind you) just so she has something for show.  And I’m talking to my parents to make sure they’re cool with me asking this girl to be their daughter-in-law.  (They are.)

The other night, she comes home from her mom’s house and puts a ring box in my hand and says, “Here.  Do it.”  I have to confess that I panicked.  This isn’t like anything I’ve ever seen in the movies.  I’ve imagined proposing a few times before in my mind, and it was always somewhere nice… like a cabin in the mountains, or a balcony overlooking the city at night… you know, something girly.  So I stammer and hesitate, which makes Strutter start to think that maybe I’m not ready for this.  “Fine!” she says and snatches the ring back and stomps off to the bathroom to put on her pajamas.

So, as romantically as I can muster, I push open the door to the bathroom while she’s looking in the mirror and squeezing blackheads, and I got down on one knee and proposed.

She said yes.

(And now that I’ve outed her about squeezing blackheads, I’ll probably be killed in my sleep.)

Tags:
Posted in Relationships | 3 Comments »

God of War 3

March 23rd, 2010

I loved the previous two God of War titles on the Playstation 2, so it was a sure thing that I’d buy the third one for the PS3 on release day.  It’s a true sequel to the series, continuing the story of Kratos in his quest for revenge against Olympus and, more specifically, Zeus.

The graphics of this game are just awesome.  Playing a God of War title in high-definition is a real treat.  The voice acting is WAY over the top, but it actually fits the game.  In a world where you’re swinging swords attached to chains and ripping heads off of people, bathing yourself in blood, I guess you could say that everything is actually over the top.  And that brings me to the violence.

This series has always featured unadulterated violence, so I expected it.  But they really raised the bar in this title.  If you don’t want to know about certain scenes, stop reading now and skip to the next bold sentence, because I’m about to give two specifics which could spoil your surprise.  Within the first ten minutes of play, you fight, and kill, Poseidon.  While killing a god is nothing new (after all, you killed Ares and Athena earlier in the series), you finish this fight with your bare hands, while the game perspective shifts to first-person from Poseidon’s eyes!  So you get to see what it would be like to be physically beat to death.  It was a little disturbing.  The second most disturbing fight scene in the game is the fight with Helios, where you kill him by ripping his head from his shoulders with your bare hands… and then proceed to use his severed head for the remainder of the game as a lantern.  While it might be a practical use of the sun-god’s head, it just seems to be gratuitous.  There’s also a rather gruesome use of a princess you free from Poseidon’s Palace that I found disturbing.  (And it isn’t even sexual, which surprised me.)

Okay, I’m done spoiling.

Another aspect of the God of War series that’s come to be expected is the sex.  There are a lot of bared breasts bouncing around through the game, but it looked like there was only one actual sex mini-game, which I passed up.  (And I’m rather upset that I didn’t get a trophy for that!)  I’ve always thought this facet of the series caters to a gamer of a different sort.

The story is my favorite aspect of the game, by far.  I’ve always liked the writing in this series, and this final installment in the trilogy does not disappoint.  By the end, Kratos revisits many of the same people he encountered along the way in the first and second games, and he neatly wraps up all loose ends before the final act.  The end of the game was slightly disappointing, but I don’t really think it would’ve been as good to end it any other way.  Be sure to sit through the credits for a small cut-scene at the very end, too.

Once complete, the game unlocks some challenge mini-games as well as the ability to use several godly items you picked up through your play-through of story mode.  (Using the items disables gaining trophies while they’re active, so don’t think you’ll have an easy time of trophy-hunting once you’ve got them.)  I’m not sure that the story is worth playing through a second time.  I already know how it ends, after all.  The mini-games, though, might take me another few days to finish up.

If I could change the game, I’m not sure that I would.  While the violence is extreme, I also think it’s in-character.  Kratos is, after all, really, really pissed off and he has nothing to lose in his quest to avenge the death of his wife and child.  I’d love to see the game have some sort of co-op play (because I’d much rather play with friends than solo) but how would you work that into the story?  So, no, I think I’d leave the game the way it is.

All in all, I think the game was worth the price.  To any fan of the series, I’d say it’s a definite buy.  If violence really doesn’t suit your style, then by all means avoid this game.  If you’re thinking about getting this game for a younger relative, I want to make this very clear:  The game is rated M for a reason. I would not allow a child under 16 to play this game at all.  I wouldn’t want them in the room watching.  In fact, I’d probably save play sessions for when they weren’t in the house, or asleep.

Tags:
Posted in Stuck in the Gameroom, Video Games | No Comments »

Netflix Confessional – Twilight

March 9th, 2010

That’s right, I put Twilight on my Netflix queue.  Saturday, Strutter and I laid in bed and watched the whole thing.  I went into this expecting it to be a drama written specifically for teenage girls.  I expected it to be, basically, an After-School special with vampires in it.  But it blew away my expectations with the amount that it actually managed to suck.

First, there’s Bella.  Whatever this actress’ name is, and I’m not even going to bother looking it up, she can not act.  I’m sorry, but pouting in every scene is not a skill.

Next, there’s Cedric Diggory.  (That’s who he is.  He’ll never be anything else to me.)  He can act, but no matter what he does in this movie, no matter how badass he tries to be, he’s still going to get killed by Voldemort.

Third, there’s the quiet.  There are ENTIRELY too many pauses during dialogue.  Pausing during speech does not equal drama.  It equals irritation.

And lastly…  the story is just crap.  Yeah, I know it was written for teenage girls.  So was Harry Potter, and it’s awesome.

And that’s all I have to say about this waste of two hours.

Law Abiding Citizen was pretty awesome, however, as well as the FX series Archer.  And both of those managed to take my mind off of this terrible attempt at a movie.

Tags:
Posted in Stuck at the Movies | 2 Comments »

Selfishness

March 2nd, 2010

At some point in history, women thought it would be a good idea to make it socially acceptable to eat food which their significant other had gotten for themselves.  I suspect it started out by not ordering a large meal at a restaurant (in order to avoid looking like a pig on a date) and then stealing food from their date’s plate because they were starving.  Movies portray this behavior as cute but, believe me, it’s not.

Don’t get me wrong, though.  I’m willing to share my food, but only if I know in advance that I’ll be asked to share.  At that point, I’d just order extra food to compensate for the thievery.

Why do I bring this up?  Because I’m hungry all the time now.  I’ve been on a diet for four weeks, and my stomach has not become acclimated to being empty all the time yet.  And because Strutter keeps stealing what little food I’ve bought from the fridge, like a mouse in the night.

Again, don’t think that I’m unwilling to share, or provide for my woman.  Every time I leave for the store, which has been almost every day these past few weeks, I ask, “Do you want me to get you anything?”  When the answer isn’t something wholly un-diet, such as ice cream, cheesecake, or pizza, it’s a definite “No, thank you.”  So I buy for myself, and find her pilfering cheese crumbles from the fridge or croutons from the cabinet later that night.

To add to the mouse analogy, Strutter is completely incapable of opening a cardboard box along the designated “Open Here” perforations.  She always rips a small hole in the side from which to extract her ill-gotten food and drink.  (And I must admit, THIS behavior is cute.)

My point is this:  Just tell me to get you something.

Tags:
Posted in Miscellany | 2 Comments »

Plants vs Zombies

March 2nd, 2010

I saw an article on Ars Technica which mentioned how a game called “Plants vs Zombies” was being released on the iPhone, and it was a fun little game.  Always interested in fun little games, I thought I’d check it out.  It’s released by Popcap Games, which is usually a sign that I’m not interested, but I gave it a try anyway.  I’m so glad I did.

You can download the demo here, which is just a “crippled” version of the full product.  I went ahead and purchased the game a couple of boards into the demo, before I even got to the crippled areas.  That’s how fun it is.

It’s a strategy game, based on the Tower Defense model.  Zombies are invading your yard and certain plants affect certain zombies differently.  But the main game isn’t the only point worth plugging.  It’s also got several mini-games and puzzle games which unlock during play, and those are just as fun.  And, did I mention that it has ZOMBIES in it?  That alone should sell the game to at least one of my friends.

For the price, the game is a must-buy.  At the very least, check out the demo.

Tags: ,
Posted in Stuck in the Gameroom, Video Games | No Comments »

To Boldly Go…

February 19th, 2010

Space.  The Final Frontier.  These are the voyages of the blog Stuck in the World.  It’s continuing mission: To seek out new games, and new forms of entertainment…

My game of choice lately, if you haven’t guessed it, is Star Trek Online.  It’s an MMORPG (Massively-Multiplayer Onling Role-playing Game, and I’ll never spell it out like that ever again) set in the world of, obviously, Star Trek.  It launched last month, and I decided to jump on-board after particpating in the Beta test phase.

Let’s start out with the bad, shall we?

Due to the “unexpected” number of people playing, the servers are a little outmatched.  This is causing lag, disconnects, unexpected downtime for maintenance, and a whole mess of nerdrage on their community forums.  Cryptic (the game’s producer) claims the numbers weren’t expected, but I’m not sure that’s a feasible explanation.  I mean, it’s STAR TREK.  You’ve got an entire population of nerds and creepy geeks chomping at the bit for anything related to Star Trek, right?  Plus, wouldn’t they know how many copies they sold?  I am, however, willing to believe that they didn’t expect the high amount of players, and that they realized they’d be lacking in hardware too late in the process to get new servers up in time.  At least they’ve acknowledged the problem and are putting more infrastructure in place.

The content is not what I actually expected, and lacking.  MMOs, in general, are all about doing the same “Kill x number of bad guys and talk to me when you’re done” mission over and over again.  In Star Trek Online (hereafter referred to as STO) the number seems to be 5.  I’m fine with it, though, because it’s not too many and combat is actually fun for me.  What I expected, though, was “Star Trek” type missions.  In other words, missions with story.  To their credit, they have some attempts at this.  There’s a group of miners that are on strike which you’re asked to go negotiate with.  There’s several missions where you have to run around and scan things and not fight at all.  But it seems a little “unpolished.”  I think, over time, this problem will get resolved.

The Klingon content is awful.  This is my biggest complaint about the game.  They added Klingons as a playable faction late in the game’s development, and it shows.  There’s literally a small handful of missions you can do that are not PvP (player versus player), which means your only viable means of gaining skills is through PvP.  They’ve acknowledged this is a problem, and they’re planning on adding more content for the red side, but there’s no ETA on that.

And that’s it for the bad.  Sure, there are some minor bugs and small features which annoy me, but it’s only been out a month.  With a persistent-world MMO, these problems will certainly get corrected over time.

So what’s the good?

Everything else.  No, really.  I love this game. That’s saying a lot, considering I’ve played most of the other Star Trek single-player games out there, and hated every one them.  The only reason I even tried this one out was because the Beta invite was a perk from my Champions Online account.

Some people complain about the name-dropping, such as meeting the great-grandson of Sulu, seeing the USS Kirk and the USS McCoy, or talking to the daughter of Tom Paris and B’Elanna Torres.  To me, however, that’s the POINT of playing in a Star Trek world.  If I’m playing in a world based on Forgotten Realms (from Dungeons & Dragons) you can bet that I expect to bump into Elminster, Drizzt, and the Seven Sisters.  (Wow, I’m a nerd.)  The name-dropping does not take away from the immersion at all for me.  It adds to it.

The character customization is exactly what I expected from Cryptic.  After City of Heroes (their first MMO), no other character creator could compare.  I expected a vast array of customization, from uniform options to body types to facial structure, and STO delivered.

The rate of advancement through the game is measured.  There are people who will complain that the game is too fast, and that max level is easy to reach in a matter of days.  Those same people say the same thing about every MMO they play, though.  They don’t actually play the game.  They rush it.  They find the fastest path to get the next level and they take it.  For me, games aren’t about what’s at the end, but it’s about the ride that takes you there.

So what’s my verdict?

Buy the game.  If you’re a Star Trek fan, it’s worth playing if only for the free month.  If you’re also an MMO fan, you’ll probably won’t mind the $15/month fee.  And if you do buy it, look me up.  My global handle is @Stuck, and I’m running the fleet named Sirius Business.  ;)

Tags: , ,
Posted in Stuck in the Gameroom, Video Games | 2 Comments »

Write What You Know

February 19th, 2010

I haven’t really written much lately because nothing “blog-worthy” has been going on.  I’m sure you don’t want to know how boring my day-to-day can be, even if you do want to know that I’m doing all right.  (The few of you left reading, that is.)  So, yeah, I’m doing all right.  Strutter and I are a team in our workplace’s “Biggest Loser” event, and we’re doing fairly well.  I think we’re in second place overall.  The downside is that Strutter is already tiny, and can’t really lose much more weight, which means the home stretch is going to based completely on me.  (The other downside is that she’s a freaking Nazi when it comes to watching me eat at home!)  The upside, though, is that I’ve lost weight.  The last update I’d given on my weight here was when I dropped to 299.  After that, I sort fell off the wagon and climbed back up to 330.  Now, I’m back down to 297.  There’s like eight or nine more weeks to go, so we’ll see how much I can lose, but right now it’s a little over five pounds per week.

Aside from that, there really isn’t much going on in my life to talk about.  Unless we open the door to that dark place…  you know the place I’m talking about.  (No, not THAT place, Len.  Not quite that dark.)  I’m talking about the Game Room…

I don’t hide the fact that I’m a gamer.  Instead of watching television, I sit down at the computer.  Television has it’s place, of course.  I love watching Chuck, for example.  But mostly, television is just something to do to pass the time.  With a game, at least I get to participate in, if not control, the story.  And I like being in control.  (I promise you we aren’t going there, Len.)

And so, I’ve created a brand new post category on my blog.  Three, actually.  Stuck in the Gameroom, with two subcategories.  One for Video Games, and one for Tabletop games.  So now I can write about things I’m doing, what games I’m playing, how I like or dislike them, and pretty much alienate every reader I have left.  (Except Cap, because I know she likes Fable.  Although I don’t know if she still reads this, what with her being all busy with the job hunt and stuff.)  But at least I’ll be writing again, and I do like writing.

Tags:
Posted in Miscellany, Stuck in the Gameroom | 3 Comments »

Bedside Manner

December 31st, 2009

Her: “My throat hurts, Ben.”

Me: “I know.  I’m sorry.”

Her: “It hurts bad.”

Me: “I think we should make an agreement that, for the duration of our relationship, neither of us complains about being sick.”

Her: “You don’t complain about being sick.”

Me: “Oh?  Then I guess what I meant to say was ‘Shut the hell up!’”

The conversation might not have ended exactly like that, but it did in my mind…

Tags:
Posted in Miscellany | No Comments »

Netflix Confessional: True Blood, Season 1

November 24th, 2009

It has been awhile since I’ve done this, mostly because the speed at which I watch Netflix movies slowed to a crawl once I started dating and partly because I’ve just been slow to write anything at all.  It might also have to do with the fact that my Netflix queue was commandeered by Strutter over the course of two years.  It started out with a little “Add this” and “Add that” and progressed to a “Why hasn’t this come in yet?  Move it to the top!”  So the movies for myself have, sadly, all been pushed to the bottom of the list to make way for Strutter picks which, usually sit unwatched for several days until I finally say “Watch this” and “Watch that” so as to get the queue moving again.  I make it sound like she’s picking crap I don’t want to see, but that isn’t the case.  She just takes her time getting around to watching a DVD of anything.  The solution, I’ve found, is to get television programs, which can be doled out in bite-sized portions.  Recently we plowed through seasons 1-5 of The Office.

In a Bold Move, I finally put my selections first.  I mentioned in my previous post that I recently obtained an Xbox 360 so as to stream Netflix picks.  This is an ideal method for queueing up the television programs for Strutter while I start getting my discs in the mail once more.  And the most recent discs were the first four episodes of HBO’s series, “True Blood.”

I’d heard a lot of hype about this from friends and co-workers, and was a little wary of it.  It’s from the same guy who did “Six Feet Under,” after all, and I vainly watched that show in the hopes that it would finally become something I enjoyed.  I actually have to remind myself that the show witht the “light and dark” girl and her crazy-ass brother was actually the same show with the gay undertaker.  It was really that non-memorable for me.

True Blood is a series set in Louisiana, in a world where vampires have come into the open because of the invention of a synthetic blood which can sustain them.  Of course this leads to some ill will between humans and vampires, which I suppose is realistic.  My problems with the show are as follows:

  • Vampires, with the exception of Bill Compton, are such a crazy stereotype.  While I do believe that a human being, when bestowed with immortality and the desire to feed on other humans, would resort to a level of such evil and debauchery that would make Satan blush, I do not believe it would be sustainable.  Either the individual would get bored with it and look at feeding as just a necessity, or the other members of the community who had reached that point would eliminate this threat from existence.  The first three vampires introduced after Bill Compton all fall into this category of evil, and it’s, frankly, unbelievable.
  • The main character, Sookie, is named Sookie.  I really don’t need to explain myself further than that, do I?
  • The sex is gratuitous.  I’m no prude, but the sex adds nothing to the show aside from showing that Sookie’s brother is personally involved with the women that are being murdered.  But since the story also shows us that he’s innocent, it sort of detracts from the point of showing us the sex.  You could just throw a few lines of dialogue in there to place him at the scene of the crime or even do a classy fade-to-black when things start heating up…
  • ALL of the main characters are good-looking.  This is a backwoods town in Louisiana.  I expect there to be less teeth, more fat, and more dirty clothes per character.
  • I wanted Tara’s character to die before the end of episode one.  Let this next statement be heard by all screenwriters: We do not need any more obnoxious, angry, educated black female stereotypes in television or movies.  It’s not doing anything for the equal right movement except widening the gap.  To her credit, however, I will say that I like her Southern accent the best.  It’s just the right amount of annoying.
  • It’s a vampire story.  Yes, I like Vampire stories.  Maybe all this Twilight/New Moon hype has soured the taste for me.  It just seems more commercially-driven than story-driven.

Despite all of that, I’m going to keep watching the show.  It’s got enough of a hook to make me want to see the next episode, and I actually like the character of Bill Compton.  It’s got it’s own stereotype, too, but it’s one that doesn’t make me grit my teeth.  Maybe he’ll convince Sookie to change her name.

Tags: ,
Posted in Stuck at the Movies | No Comments »

Dear Santa

November 24th, 2009

It’s that time of year again, where my mother demands a list of my wants and needs and I’m struggling to think of things.  Despite having a running Amazon WishList (which has been conveniently listed on the sidebar to the right since before LAST Christmas), I’ve been told by my mother, and by Strutter, that they aren’t looking at that.  The biggest challenge for me in making a list is that if something isn’t too expensive and I want it, I’m going to get it myself.  If it IS too expensive, I don’t feel comfortable putting it on a gift list and I’m not bold enough to dig further in debt to get it myself.  My Amazon Wishlist has always been things that I sort of want, but can live without.  (Except God of War 3 for the playstation 3.  I’m going to pre-order that one.)  I’ve recently bought an Xbox 360 primarily for Strutter’s Netflix streaming in the bedroom and secondarily for me to lie in bed and play Borderlands when I can’t sleep.  Although I usually carry it into the game room for that, since it’s loud.  So I could start amassing accessories for that now…

Anyway, I suppose I’m going to make a list up right now, before my mother goes to visit my aunt and calls me from Wal-Mart anyway, ignoring this SECOND list completely.

Dear Mr. Claus,

I would like the following items delivered to me on December 25th, in celebration of the birth of our Lord and Savior.  One or two of these lower-priced items may be forwarded on to my loved ones so that they may present these gifts to me upon the Winter Solstice in celebration of MY birthday.  They are presented in order of my desire to possess them, from highest to lowest.

1) A Mountain Bike – I desire more exercise, and I enjoy riding a bike.  This seems to be the most reasonable combination of those two things.  I realize that selecting a bicycle for me might be difficult, so I will accept a gift certificate to that bike shop on Broad River (I think it’s called Harold’s or something like that) or a joint trip to said bike store to peruse their goods.

2) A High Definition LCD Flat Panel Television – This is for the bedroom, so the screen size needs to be between 25 and 35 inches so as to fit on the stand.  I also require the resolution to be no less than 1080p.  Just because it’s in the bedroom is no reason to skimp on quality.  The make and model do not matter to me, as long as it doesn’t break easily.

3) A Kindle, from Amazon.com – While I LOVE the idea of this as a gift, along with the leather carrying case, I realize that it negates the necessity for paper-bound books, which make have already been built and stashed away in a storage bin for me.  Please talk to me, either in person or via my mother, about this wonderful device and how we might can incorporate it into next year’s list without interfering with pre-built paper-bound books.

4) A Comforter and Bedsheet Set – These are for the master bed, so they would be needed in the king-sized variety.  I do not require anything fancy or expensive, as the dogs will accidentally tear them eventually.  I only ask that they be in Black, Gray, or Navy Blue, or any other color scheme which will match the wall paint.  My mother probably remembers the colors of the walls, so you can ask her.

That concludes the “big-ticket” items which might require a little extra work from the elves.  The remainder of the list are the more reasonably-priced items, which could be forwarded to relatives and family, as well as my girlfriend, as possible gift ideas that they could acquire.

Playstation 3 Games:

  • Dragon Age: Origins
  • Demon’s Souls

Music CDs:

  • The Green Album, by Weezer
  • Yes, Virgina, by The Dresden Dolls
  • Acoustic, by Everything But the Girl

DVDs:

  • Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (Widescreen)

Also, Mr. Claus, could you let my mother know that my girlfriend was most nervous about suggesting any type of gift for herself, so I have found one myself that she will enjoy.  It is a game for the Nintendo Wii called New Super Mario Bros.  As the title suggests, this is the “new” version of the game, and any salesman would be able to point my mother in the right direction to find it.

Thank you for your attention to this letter, sir, and I look forward to your responses in the latter part of December.  Please give my regards to the missus and elves, and gives the reindeer an extra pat on the head from me.

Respectfully,

Benjy

Posted in Me Me Me! | No Comments »

Politics

September 10th, 2009

I don’t like getting political.  No matter what your stance or how carefully you choose your words, someone is going to get fired up about what you say.  Someone is about to call me an irresponsible citizen for saying this, but I’ve only voted in two presidential elections out of the four which have occurred since I turned eighteen.  The first time I did so was because I was voting against someone who I really didn’t want to see in office for another four years.  The second time was because I actually believed that we needed change, and I believed that the man I voted for also believed it.

Maybe it’s because I’m getting older that I’m actually paying attention to political stories now.  Last night was the first time I didn’t cuss at the television when my regularly scheduled show was being pushed beneath a presidential speech.  (Even though I really wanted to watch WipeOut and Crash Course)  Last night was also the first time I didn’t change the channel.  Instead I watched the speech.  I watched my congressman, who lives less than five miles from my house, call our president a liar.

I don’t give a damn that he apologized for it afterward.  An apology isn’t enough.

Not only did you disrespect our Commander-in-Chief, Mr. Wilson, but you called him out as a liar for a statement which has been proven as truth.  You do not represent my interests, and your services as my congressmen are no longer desired.  Please make way for someone who will help our government move forward instead of stalling it.

Tags:
Posted in Miscellany | 1 Comment »

Search Engine Humor

August 28th, 2009

Once in awhile, I look over my Internet stats to find out where the the five visitors a day come from, and what might have brought them here. Since I hadn’t done it in awhile, I thought I’d check it out for the past few months… boy was I surprised.

Here are some of the more interesting things, in bold, searched for that brought people to my domain:

nair holy shit my balls hurt
I tried to warn you, brother. That stuff is ACID!
did elaine ever have a horse
That joke is still as funny now as the first time I heard it
what part of body was covered with lard and cooked during spanish inquisition
I don’t know. But I bet it was tasty! Mmmm… lard….
trutv penis weight lifting
I don’t like to brag…
feltching my ex
Now I’m tempted to do a word search on this blog and remove any occurrence of the word “feltching”
i fell back and hit my head on my headrest, it hurts really bad but there is no blood coming out. what should i do?
Go to the doctor.

Posted in Miscellany | 1 Comment »

My “Special” Son

August 27th, 2009

Taj’s favorite toy happens to be a rainbow volleyball that Strutter brought home from the beach this year. It’s so big that his canine teeth end up wedging it in his mouth and he has to fight to get it out. (And it’s usually a vigorous fight when there’s food or a treat waiting) Part of me wants to deflate the ball a little bit to make this easier, but then he’d be able to bite it and puncture it, and then lose his favorite toy. To anyone that wants to cry “Animal abuse!” let me just say this: Fuck you.

Tags:
Posted in Miscellany | 2 Comments »

« Older Entries