Archive for April, 2009

Dear World – An Open Letter

Wednesday, April 29th, 2009

Dear World,

I am writing to ask that you stop being so stupid. Your constant, idiotic shenanigans are causing me to lose my faith in humanity. Every day, I see the mindless masses reacting in the most illogical way to situations which are being sensationalized by the media, and the problem is getting worse. Allow me to use the current situation of this “swine flu pandemic” as an example.

As of 8:00am Eastern this morning, There were 64 confirmed cases of Swine Flu in the United States, and one death. The death was a 22-month old Mexican toddler that had been flown in for treatment, and I offer my most sincere condolences to the family. Now, I am certain that there are more than 64 cases, which have not yet been confirmed, but the reaction to these numbers is far overblown.

There are over 300 MILLION people in the United States. Even if there are as many as 10,000 infected citizens (and that’s not a number based on any statistic from the CDC or World Health Organization. I just made it up as a number grossly over-exaggerated than the factually stated count), that is less than one out of every 30,000 people. Now, for people who get sick, the rate of death can’t be calculated. Logic and Science dictates that the people at highest risk will be the elderly and the young.

According to news reports, “over a hundred” people are dead in Mexico City from this flu. Mexico City reported a population of over 8 Million people last year. Since the media gave us such an abstract number, but didn’t say over TWO hundred, let’s assume the number of deaths is 199. That’s a mortality rate of .002% of the population. (One out of every 5,000 people? My brain is starting to hurt from all this math.) But now stories are leaking out about how Mexico City isn’t responding to this flu correctly. (And, as an American, I can only report on the stereotypes of Mexican health care, not anything factual, so I will leave that aspect of this criticism untouched.)

I’m not saying the swine flu isn’t a threat. I’m just saying you’re more likely to be killed in a car accident than by it. (Odds of that, according to a 2003 survey, is one in 6,500. Over a 78 year lifespan, that’s about one in 83.) The swine flu numbers aren’t really important, however. You can look at the same sort of media coverage over the Bird Flu or a Mad Cow Disease outbreak or anything that can cause fear in the general populace. My point is that the media is sensationalizing the news.

Why would they do that? Because they have to. Today’s viewers don’t want a stodgy old man with a stone face delivering the facts. They want to feel involved. They want to be entertained. They need the magic box to keep their living room interesting, not bore them out of their minds. (If I were an avid conspiracy-theorist, I could even go so far as to say that the media is causing this fear on purpose, because a frightened population is easier to control, less likely to object to soldiers walking their streets in the name of safety. But I’ll leave that sort of speculation to the conspiracy theorists.)

But this letter isn’t addressed to the media. It’s addressed to the world. So, World, I am asking you to calm down and think. When the media starts talking about hundred of deaths, put it in perspective. It’s hundreds of people that you probably didn’t know, that probably didn’t know each other, and that were scattered across a very broad population. When they start talking about how deadly this new threat is, take a deep breath and realize that they aren’t telling you that the majority of these deaths are across elderly people, very young people, and people who didn’t bother going to the hospital over what they thought was just an annoying fever.

If you’ve read this, and agree with what I’m saying, then I ask that you do one last thing. I ask that you turn off your television tonight. The news will still be there in the morning. Eat dinner at the table with your family and talk to each other. If you don’t have family, go out to eat with your friends and talk with them. Stop worrying, and start living. You’ll find that it’s a lot more enjoyable.

Sincerely,
Stuck

Tags:
Posted in Rants | 4 Comments »

Just When You Thought Things Couldn’t Get Any Worse…

Wednesday, April 8th, 2009

Last Saturday, I drove out to a car lot with low expectations. I was planning on looking at a few trucks, getting depressed when I saw how much they’ve changed since my 2003 model, getting more depressed when I saw how much they cost, and driving my grandfather’s truck home in tears. I was also dreading the whole idea of dealing with a Car Salesmen.

I parked in the guest parking area and wasn’t even completely out of my truck before someone swooped in to offer assistance. *sigh* Fine, it was a big lot and I guessed I could use some help finding out which direction the trucks were in. We start walking towards the trucks, and I’m telling him what I had, how much I loved it, and how I wanted something as close to it as possible. I also tell him that I’m looking for something used, since I can’t afford a new one. So, of course, he walks me straight to the brand-new Toyota Tundra.

I drove a Tacoma. It’s a smaller of the Toyota trucks. The Tundra was the big one. I don’t want a big one. Over the past six years, the Tacoma has gradually increased in size until it’s as big as the Tundra was in 2003, and the Tundra is now ridiculously big. I had explained this in our walk, so I have no idea why he walked me straight to a truck that he knew I wasn’t interested in. I pointed this out and asked if we could look at Tacomas, and we started walking again.

We got to the Tacoma area, and my fears were realized. Too expensive. Too big. Too different from my old truck. I also notice that they’re all new. So I suggest we look at some used ones, since I’m looking for an older model that’s as close to my old truck as I can get. We start walking, and out of the corner of my eye I spot a familiar shape. I turn my head to look and gasp. This salesman was about to walk me right past a 2003 Toyota Tacoma PreRunner (which I had very specifically said I was hoping to find when I first spoke to the man) and not look back. I stop and point, “How about that one?”

At first, he acts surprised to see it, as if it magically appeared on the lot. I started circling the beautiful truck, kicking the tires, checking for anything out of place. I press my face against the driver’s window and look inside as he’s stammering about something, but I don’t hear him. I already knew that I’d be buying this one. I don’t even look back at him when I ask, “You have the keys for this one?”

He wanders off to the main building while I sit and whisper to my future truck, petting the sleek metal and telling it how good of a driver I’d be. The salesman returns with the key and puts it in my hand. For a brief second, I swear it glowed with a brilliant blue light. And then I realized something was amiss. “It doesn’t have keyless entry? Was it built by cavemen?”

The salesman assures me that they can add keyless entry for a modest fee. I make eye contact with him for the first time, and see that he wants this sale. I get in the truck, and the seat feels like home. All the controls are where I remember them. The steering wheel is right where I need it to be. The mirrors are already adjusted for my height. It was Fate.

The test drive proved what I already knew. This was my truck. I didn’t want to appear too eager, though. The salesman was as hungry to sell it as I was to buy it. I made an offer, which included them installing keyless entry. His face got all scrunchy for a second, but he regained his composure like a pro and invited me into the building. I patted the truck on the hood and whispered that I’d be back.

One thing I’ll never understand about the buying process is the constant trips that the salesman has to make back and forth between you and some back office. Why can’t they just sit you down in the back office and avoid all that leg work? My offer was accepted. Begin the two hours of paperwork.

At the end of the day, The Replacement Truck was in my driveway, newly washed and ready for a lifetime of adventure with his new partner. All was right with the world. In less than a week, I’d be past all this worry and misery over the accident, and I wouldn’t even have a car payment.

Sunday evening, I picked up a notepad to make a grocery list and saw two little white bugs underneath it, amidst a pile of chewed up notepad. They quickly darted into two little holes in the wooden sill upon which the notepad had previously rested. I’ve got termites in my fucking house.

Posted in Me Me Me! | 2 Comments »

… “A NEW CAR!”

Thursday, April 2nd, 2009

First and foremost, I’m not dead. The dumbness and the dizziness spells are getting fewer and farther between, so I expect to be back at 100% soon.

Last night I had a dream that I went on The Price is Right with the goal of winning a new car. I don’t know why I’d do this, as they always give away cars that I’d never want. But anyway, in the dream, every freaking game had a brand new pick-up truck as the prize… except the game I played. I got the yodeling-dude-going-up-the-hill game, and my prize was a new washer/dryer. I was so pissed off that I punched Bob Barker in the nose. And now you know the REAL reason he’s not hosting the show anymore.

Why was I dreaming about winning a new car? I got a phone call from my insurance claim adjuster yesterday. My truck is a total loss. I get to go out to the scrapyard today (in the rain yet again, cruel fate) to gather the rest of my personal belongings, strip off the tag, and look for any loose change that might’ve fallen under the seat to put aside for a new truck. I was also informed that my CT Scan and MRI were not covered by my policy, as they were medical expenses incurred AFTER the incident. Had I gone to the hospital straight from the scene of the wreck, I’d be covered. But the fact that I waited 36 hours to see a doctor means I get to pay that $700 out of pocket. (At least Papa Stuckey is letting me use his credit card for them, but HE shouldn’t have to pay for it either!)

When I bought this truck, I was SO excited about. Not only was it the first truck that I was going to buy “all by myself,” I was glad to be rid of the old one. The one that was constantly breaking down. The one that would occasionally choose NOT to start when I wanted it to. (A problem which no mechanic was ever able to fix.) It was a relief as well as an adventure.

This time, though, I’m not excited about it. Not only do I get to enjoy the responsibility of a car payment again (my old one was paid for), but I actually LIKED my old truck. To replace it feels like a betrayal. It’s like getting a new cat when your old cat dies, and naming it something to reflect the fact that you’re getting it just to fill that emotional void…

So I’m looking at buying a truck exactly like it. Well… not EXACTLY. This time around it’ll have Sirius XM Radio, an MP3-capable stereo, and an audio-in jack for my iPod. And maybe a sunroof. Ooooh… and maybe I can get it in blue!

Okay… I guess I’m excited about it on some level. The Replacement Truck will be fun. The thing that I’m dreading, really, is the car payment. I’m going by the bank today to see about refinancing my house in order o lower my monthly payments, and maybe consolidate some other debts, in order to “make room” for a $300 truck payment in my budget. And I can always sell some stocks and dip into the Ring Fund. It’s not the end of the world, but it’s certainly inconvenient.

Sometimes it really sucks being an adult.

Posted in Me Me Me! | 3 Comments »