I’m still not sure that I’m comfortable getting naked in front of my seven or eight readers, but I did promise that I’d try, and I will always live up to my promises. So what I’m going to do is combine Naked Wednesday with Thursday Thirteen and reveal seven or so facts (because thirteen might be a bit too many) about myself that I hide, whether through modesty or shame.
1) I view women as the weaker sex. This does not mean that I don’t respect them. It just means that I see women as needing to be protected. It’s how I was raised, and I will probably always see the world this way, no matter how strong a woman my mother is. (And my mother is the strongest woman in the world.)
2) I am chronically unable to arrive at work on time. I don’t know what ti is, but I just HAVE to have that extra five minutes of blessed sleep, which inevitibly puts me five minutes behind. Not one to steal from my employer, I make this five minutes up by cutting my lunch breaks short.
3) I have nightmares almost every night. Vivid, terrible nightmares that will wake me up covered with sweat and panting. I have to replace my pillow almost every two months because of the sweat stains on it.
4) I do not like talking with people who don’t know me. I’m not a talkative person to begin with, but I am afraid that a stranger will not understand my warped sense of humor and be completely offended by something I say. It’s not that I care what they think about me, but more because I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.
5) In college, I stepped in the way of a guy who was about to punch his girlfriend and I took the hit for her. I believe that this is oe of the noblest things I’ve ever done. I then put that guy in a wheelchair for several months. I believe that this is one of the most shameful things I’ve ever done.
6) I enjoy being alone in the house, but there are times when I wish there was a woman in another room, doing her own thing and not needing my attention. That would be comforting.
7) I once gave a homeless person a Bible and told him everything he needed was inside. My friends thought I was being a little cruel to him, but they didn’t know that I’d put a fifty dollar bill and at the beginning of Exodus. I had forgotten all about this encounter until three years later, a man sent me a letter thanking me. (I had written my name in the Bible, and he had looked me up based on the fact that I mentioned I was from Columbia.) He used that money to buy a bus ticket to see his daughter, who helped him get back on his feet, and he was on currently his way to becoming a preacher. I still have this letter sealed away, and plan on using it as evidence when Saint Peter hesitates at my name on Judgement Day.
8) I believe, with all of my heart, that some woman out there is missing out on the amount of love I have to give her. It will be a damned shame if I end up giving all this love to a puppy instead. I think I will be just as happy either way. 😉