Netflix Confessional: Black Snake Moan

Last night’s movie was Black Snake Moan. I’m going to be perfectly honest here. I got this movie because Christina Ricci plays a nymphomaniac, and I figured that’d be a good chance to see her naked. For those who don’t know any of my ex-girlfriends, almost all of them are built like Christina Ricci. (Meaning that they’re short, doe-eyed, and look like they need to eat more.) So yeah, I’m a total horndog because I put a movie on my list that I assumed would be a soft-core porn. (Actually, I’m a total horndog for a million other reasons, but that one will do for now.)

The first five minutes of the movie did not disappoint, and it even had a twangy Blues riff in the background. Within twenty minutes, I realized that it was an actual movie, with a story and everything. By the end of an hour, I knew I’d be watching it again the next night.

Aside from Samuel L. Jackson and Ricci, there’s not a lot of good acting in the movie. (Justin Timberlake delivered a poor attempt at an anxiety-suffering guardsman, but at least he got the Southern accent down.) The story, while basic, is actually refreshing. It’s a very simple tale of people helping one another, with no bells or whistles. (Well, aside from the whole nymphomania thing, but I’ll forgive that since the movie probably would never have been made if it wasn’t in there.)

So if you like Blues music, Samuel L. Jackson, and maybe chicks whose ribcages are visible through their skin, check this movie out. If you’re only looking for soft-core porn, you can turn it off after the first ten minutes.

The other movie I got was Disney’s The Pacifier, starring Vin Diesel. It just looked like a fun bubblegum movie. Kids might like it, but don’t bother if you don’t have kids. The oldest daughter is going to be a hottie when she’s legal, though.

11 thoughts on “Netflix Confessional: Black Snake Moan”

  1. lenfercestlesautres

    I got this movie because Christina Ricci plays a nymphomaniac

    That was exactly the reason why I wanted to watch it too.

    I’ll still throw it on my queue when it’s released over here.

  2. i have met a surprising number of guys who think christina ricci is the hottest babe ever.

    let me know if you want me to get the “READ” poster with her on it. she’s dressed like a catholic school girl, i think….

    methinks i have just found Stuckey’s christmas present….

  3. I don’t think she’s the hottest babe ever, but she’s nice to look at. Yeah, the READ poster you’re referring to would be an awesome present for me. I could put it in my reading room.

  4. I kinda liked The Pacifier and I don’t have kids. I do, however, have a thing for Lauren Graham.

  5. Holy crap, that WAS Lauren Graham! I didn’t even recognize her. Yeah, ever since the whole “Fuck me, Santa” thing in Bad Santa, I’ve thought she was hot. 🙂

  6. Len – I answered/avoided your comment about being arrested. 🙂 It’s just a coincidence. I still love you.

  7. Personally, I think Christina Ricci is gross. I have, however, known a number of straight women who think she is hot.

    I can’t believe you watched The Pacifier.

  8. Hahahaha..I liked Christina Ricci better when she had some meat on her bones.

    And didn’t Vin Diesel already make a movie about running a daycare center?

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