Last night’s movie was Black Snake Moan. I’m going to be perfectly honest here. I got this movie because Christina Ricci plays a nymphomaniac, and I figured that’d be a good chance to see her naked. For those who don’t know any of my ex-girlfriends, almost all of them are built like Christina Ricci. (Meaning that they’re short, doe-eyed, and look like they need to eat more.) So yeah, I’m a total horndog because I put a movie on my list that I assumed would be a soft-core porn. (Actually, I’m a total horndog for a million other reasons, but that one will do for now.)
The first five minutes of the movie did not disappoint, and it even had a twangy Blues riff in the background. Within twenty minutes, I realized that it was an actual movie, with a story and everything. By the end of an hour, I knew I’d be watching it again the next night.
Aside from Samuel L. Jackson and Ricci, there’s not a lot of good acting in the movie. (Justin Timberlake delivered a poor attempt at an anxiety-suffering guardsman, but at least he got the Southern accent down.) The story, while basic, is actually refreshing. It’s a very simple tale of people helping one another, with no bells or whistles. (Well, aside from the whole nymphomania thing, but I’ll forgive that since the movie probably would never have been made if it wasn’t in there.)
So if you like Blues music, Samuel L. Jackson, and maybe chicks whose ribcages are visible through their skin, check this movie out. If you’re only looking for soft-core porn, you can turn it off after the first ten minutes.
The other movie I got was Disney’s The Pacifier, starring Vin Diesel. It just looked like a fun bubblegum movie. Kids might like it, but don’t bother if you don’t have kids. The oldest daughter is going to be a hottie when she’s legal, though.